I met my wife when I was 30 and she was 27: she was laid back, had a brilliant sense of humour and I loved her attitude to life, squeezing everything out of it.
I still love her but her fun side has faded. Instead, she is regularly critical about me not pulling my weight and not understanding the mental load. Where she used to laugh, now she eye-rolls. I feel whatever I do around the house isn’t good enough.
She says that if I do anything, from a late night working to a weekend away, I expect her to cover while if she makes plans, she has to arrange a babysitter. There is some truth to this but that’s because my job is very demanding, while she works part-time. We’ve got three young children, aged nine, five and three and no grandparent support. Weekends are dominated by their schedules; we don’t spend any time together as a couple.
Shorts
A fortnight ago, I heard my wife laughing with the children and being silly in a way she no longer is with me. She seems to enjoy being with our eldest son more than me and is endlessly patient with the younger two. I realised: she loves them more than me. She doesn’t make an effort with me any more; they are her everything.
