Joe had never dated a bisexual man before, while Matt took time to trust his new partner, but now both are happy swapping roles in the bedroom
How do you do it? Share the story of your sex life, anonymously
Once I really trusted Matt, I started to enjoy being more dominant
Matt was the first person I’d dated who wasn’t gay. He told me early on that although he’d mainly had relationships with men, he had slept with as many women as men. I worried he wouldn’t feel fulfilled by me, that he would miss having sex with women, which I now know is the worst thing you can say to a bisexual person because it suggests they are less capable of monogamy. I was projecting my own insecurities on to his sexuality.
There is a seven-year age gap between us, but if anything Matt is more mature than me. Outside the bedroom he’s the decisive alpha, so I like it when that dynamic flips during sex. I used to find control in submission. There’s a stigma about being a “bottom” – that it means giving up power – but really you’re still setting the terms. And once I really trusted Matt, I started to enjoy being more dominant. Sometimes when we’re having sex, I almost leave my body.
