Overwhelmed by family care? Here’s where to turn

For many people in the sandwich generation, decisions about aged care aren’t made as a neat, organised plan. They’re often arranged while juggling school pick-ups, work deadlines and the emotional weight of realising a parent may need more support than family alone can provide.Taking the time to plan for future care needs isn’t just good for the parent; it can also give caregivers somewhere to turn before the pressure pushes them to breaking point.Brett Lafranchi is the national general manager, residential aged care, at the wellbeing company Australian Unity. He says carers are often trying to understand their ageing parents’ needs from the outside, especially if they’re not able to visit every day, and may be unsure about when it’s time to step in.

Brett Lafranchi, national general manager, residential aged care, Australian Unity

Several key signs indicate that living independently at home may no longer be the safest or most supportive option for an ageing parent, he says.“It could be a slow, gradual decline where telltale signs start to show: an empty fridge, out-of-date food, or changes in personal hygiene, such as not showering every day,” he says. “Or there may have been a medical episode or a fall at home. For whatever reason, they’re not able to live as independently as they once did. It can be an incredibly stressful time for families, especially those in the sandwich generation, who are also balancing the needs of young children.”Subsidised support at homeWhile everyone’s path is unique, Lafranchi says early planning is the key to alleviating some of the stress for caregivers, while ensuring that parents’ wishes are kept front and centre as they age. This might begin with “gentle, reassuring conversations over a period of time”, Lafranchi says. “Always encourage them to be involved in the decisions so you understand their wishes.”He also suggests organising an aged care needs assessment before “crunch time or a moment of crisis”. Registering with My Aged Care and arranging this free and mandatory evaluation is the first step to accessing government-subsidised support at home, which can range from help with cleaning, shopping and showering to nursing, physio and other allied health services, and even home modifications such as ramps and grab rails.There may be a wait for the assessment, so Lafranchi suggests registering as soon as you see a need. Getting independent legal and financial advice can help you understand what is and isn’t covered along the way.The next level of careEven with the right support at home, a point may come when the daily responsibility of coordinating care, monitoring safety and responding to changing needs becomes too much for a family to manage. Lafranchi says planning for residential aged care – even if it’s never needed – can help carers understand their options before urgent decisions need to be made.That can include working out what a parent can afford, what clinical or specialist support may be needed, who is legally able to help make decisions, and whether the parent would prefer to stay close to their current home and community or move nearer to family. Having these answers earlier can reduce the number of decisions carers are forced to make in a crisis.Lafranchi says it can be helpful to understand the range of support available. While residential aged care facilities have allied health specialists and a high level of care on hand, they’re not only for people who require around-the-clock care. “We have residents who drive their own cars, join in activities, go on bus outings or go to restaurants with family,” he says. “You do not need to be fully dependent to be suitable for residential aged care.”For families, the question is often not only whether care is available, but whether anyone in residential aged care will know their parent well enough to notice when something changes. Research suggests the small household model of aged care – in which residents live in home-like settings, generally with 15 or fewer residents – leads to better quality of life and fewer hospitalisations than standard larger facilities. This model features familiar domestic-style layouts and shared spaces that encourage dining and social engagement within close proximity.“It’s similar to what people are used to in their own home,” says Lafranchi, noting that the majority of Australian Unity’s residential aged care facilities across NSW, Victoria and Queensland follow this model. “Our ‘Better Together’ approach to care means residents have a continuum of care, with the same carers in a household doing the same shifts each day.”Planning is less about predicting decline than reducing the number of unknowns a carer has to deal with on their own, Lafranchi says. Gentle, honest conversations can give older people a voice in what comes next and empower sandwich generation carers with the clarity and confidence to navigate change with less stress and more certainty.Australian Unity is a wellbeing company delivering health, wealth and care services to support people in the moments that shape their lives. Visit Australian Unity for information and resources for the sandwich generation.The information provided in this article is not medical advice and you should consult with your healthcare practitioner. Readers should rely on their own advice and enquiries in making decisions affecting their own health, wellbeing or interest.