Most people assume the hardest part of being single and living alone is the loneliness. The truth is that, while I have felt loneliness in ebbs and flows from living alone for 10 years, none of it compares to the loneliness I’ve experienced in previous relationships when I haven’t felt understood.
No, the hardest part for me is the exhaustion that comes from having to manage my finances alone, without a buffer to protect myself or any support from the Government.
People in relationships are on the whole more insulated from financial precariousness. That’s partly because of running one household living a dual income, but also because marriage comes with tax breaks which allows you to transfer some of your personal taxable allowance to your partner if they earn more than you. Single people spend around £6,000 more than their couple counterparts on living costs.
I hadn’t realised how much stress I’ve been carrying around money until I received a letter last week from my mortgage provider telling me that it needed to be renewed. It sent me into a blind panic – the last time this happened, my mortgage went up by 40 per cent. All I could see was the amount they were telling me I’d have to pay if I didn’t change my deal. I can’t possibly afford that! As I mentally ran through the rolodex of what I’d have to do – sell, move in with my parents at the ripe old age of 45 – I decided the best course of action was to put the letter in the drawer and deal with it in a few days.
