Most people think these are 5 signs of chemistry—but they're actually 'red flags,' says psychology expert

As a clinical psychologist, I often have to caution clients to examine the sparks that they feel for a new romantic prospect.

You want to be excited about someone new and feel a deep connection to them. But many of us carry old wounds from our childhood, previous relationships, or formative experiences.

If your past was chaotic, inconsistent, and confusing, then you may be drawn to those same relationship dynamics again and again. Here are five signs that the chemistry you feel might actually be a red flag.

In your past, if someone made you feel loved but also anxious, your nervous system learned that loving and fearing the same person was okay.

Mixed signals, hot and cold affection, and inconsistency can then feel intimate rather than anxiety-inducing. Excitement and anxiety are closely related emotions, so you feel on edge, but mistake this feeling for excitement and chemistry.