If you are emotionally struggling in your relationship, look out for these signs which help to sort if your partner is a red flag or not. Relationships are complex, measured in red flags and green flags. In this discombobulated equation, it is also fair when one attempts to categorise and catalogue behaviour during dating, whether someone is respecting your boundaries or gaslighting you into disbelief.ALSO READ: How to deal with ‘narcissistic’ people? Psychiatrist shares 5 ways to protect your mental healthKnow the red flags which are not always loud! (Picture credit: Freepik)To put it simply and lessen the jargon, a green flag is a sign that a person's behaviour is respectful and emotionally healthy, while a red flag is a warning sign of unhealthy and disrespectful behaviour.While one may be quick to classify, define, and, in general, make sense of mixed signals, there are many quieter and easier-to-miss signs, too.Mumbai-based mental health counsellor Kareena Mehta, founder and psychotherapist at Kare Counselling, helped explain quiet red flags that can be so subtle that they may not seem prominent enough to recognise or sort into a clear category at first.Mumbai-based mental health counsellor Kareena Mehta explains why quiet red flags in relationships are frequently ignored, and how being more aware of them earlier can promote emotional security.“Not all toxic relationships start with blatant disrespect, fights, or disloyalty. The initial ‘red flags’ can be much more discreet. They can often appear as unapparent patterns that are easy to ignore at first, simply because they don’t seem ‘toxic enough.’ An individual may not explicitly act in an insensitive way,” the physiotherapist said.This means toxic patterns do not always announce themselves through something strong, like aggression or humiliation. They can begin with something really subtle.The physiotherapist outlined these signs and why you need to be wary of them:1. They disregard your feelings as an overreactionResponses like ‘You’re so emotional,’ ‘Don’t overthink it,’ or ‘Why are you so sensitive?’ are problematic, especially when one is trying to convey their feelings. It causes self-doubt.Mutual regard for each other’s emotional experiences is important2. They only show up based on their convenienceCare feels one-sided when a partner is available only on their own terms.Shows up in behaviours like inconsistent replies, lack of initiative in making plans or emotional availability only when it benefits them.Many ignore because partners appear kind, affectionate or caring in the moments they do show up.Care is not built on convenience; it’s built on consistency.3. They make you feel guilty for having boundariesThis sign is subtle: the partner reacts poorly to simple, reasonable boundaries.For example: you need space, or simply don’t want to talk about it, they may often get offended by it and respond with silence, shame, humour, or even complete emotional retreat.Boundaries are not rejection; they are a mechanism to help protect your emotions and take some time to reflectA secure partner could be disappointed, but would never disrespect your decision.If you are not feeling heard or seen in relationship, likely you are with a red flag partner. (Picture credit: Freepik)4. Their jokes are continually based on your insecuritiesHumour and sarcasm are common ways for couples to bond, but they should not come at the cost of emotional safety.Playful teasing and disrespect towards insecurities repeatedly are not justified.Frequent remarks on your physical appearance, intellect, life choices, or insecurities may constantly be labelled as ‘just a joke.’When these are brushed off as ‘just a joke,’ which can make you feel like you are too senstive for feeling hurt.The issue is not whether your partner finds it funny. The issue is whether they care that it hurts you.5. You feel like you’re not your true self around themMost common yet unnoticed red flag: constantly monitoring yourself around them to avoid a potential confrontation.This includes- changing tone, words you use, your passion, avoiding sharing your true opinion, or maybe constantly rethinking what you have said.It creates a constant feeling of being on edge internally.In the end, the psychotherapist reminded that these signs do not inherently make your partner a bad person; they still need to be noticed and addressed so that the relationship does not turn toxic over time.“Healthy, secure relationships do give plenty of space for directness, respect, freedom, and a sense of emotional vulnerability," Mehta said, outlining the key requirements of a healthy relationship.Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your doctor with any questions about a medical condition.Adrija Dey’s proclivity for observation fuels her storytelling instinct. As a lifestyle journalist, she crafts compelling, relatable narratives across diverse touchpoints of the human experience, including wellness, mental health, relationships, interior design, home decor, food, travel, and fashion that gently nudge readers toward living a little better. For her, stories exist in flesh and bones, carried by human vessels and shaped through everyday endeavours. It is the small stories we live and share that make us human. After all, humans and their lores are the most natural and raw repositories of stories, and uncovering them, for her, is akin to peeling an orange under a winter afternoon sun. Always up for a chat, she believes the best stories come from unfiltered yapping, where "too much information" is kind of the point. A graduate of Indraprastha College for Women, University of Delhi, and an alumna of the Indian Institute of Mass Communication (IIMC), Delhi, Adrija spends her idle hours cocooned with herbal tea and a gripping thriller, scribbling inner monologues she loosely calls poetic pieces, often with her succulents in attendance. On lazier days, she can be found binge-watching, for the nth time, one from her comfort-show holy trinity: The Office (US), Brooklyn Nine-Nine, or Modern Family. Dancing by herself to her peppy playlists, however, is an everyday ritual she swears by religiously.Read MoreRelationshipMental HealthCatch every big hit, every wicket with Crick-it, a one stop destination for Live Scores, Match Stats, Quizzes, Polls & much more. Explore now!.Catch your daily dose of Fashion, Taylor Swift, Health, Festivals, Travel, Relationship, Recipe and all the other Latest Lifestyle News on Hindustan Times Website and APPs.See Less