As a clinical psychologist who has worked with couples for a decade, whenever I consistently hear five key phrases, I can tell that a relationship has run its course.These phrases are particularly insidious because while they might seem like valid points on the surface, they are often used to avoid accountability and sow uncertainty.You don't want to be with someone who solely prioritizes their comfort over your needs or who makes you doubt yourself. We all deserve a partner who is open to change and compromise.Here are the red flag phrases that signal it's time to move on, and what to say to get your power back.1. 'That's just how I am.'This phrase reveals a refusal to grow. It's one thing to say "I'm conflict averse" or "I don't like taking the initiative," and then follow up with a concrete plan to do things differently. But if your partner is convinced that the behavior you are concerned about is a fixed trait of theirs, that shuts down any progress. It puts the onus on you to accept what they did without even a conversation, and that's not fair to you. You can respond by handing the responsibility to change back to them. You might say "I'm not asking you to be a different person. I'm asking you to adjust this pattern." 2. 'You're too sensitive.'This manipulative phrase is meant to trivialize your feelings. They want to draw your attention away from what they did wrong, and make your response to their behavior the problem. Because if they make you believe that you're the issue, then they never have to evolve.To hold your ground, you can say something like "We can talk about how I reacted after we talk about what you did." If you keep the two conversations separate, it stops them from using your reaction as an exit ramp away from actually confronting what they did.3. 'I already said I was sorry.' If they use this phrase, then their primary goal is to stop the argument without actually addressing the underlying issue. They think saying "I'm sorry" will magically free them of any discomfort. But this approach just keeps you stuck on a frustrating conflict merry-go-round. A helpful line you could use in this instance is "I hear that you're sorry, and I need to know what changes next." An apology without a plan is just a way to end a conversation they want to stop having.4. 'But I do so much for you.'This phrase is meant to distract you from the current problem by presenting what they think is irrefutable evidence of their goodness, especially compared to others. Another version of this might be "Everyone else's partner is so much worse than I am." This is the logic of someone who wants you to lower your expectations and feel 'lucky to be there.' To take your power back, name the hurtful action directly. You can say "I'm not keeping score, I'm telling you what's not working right now." Remember that good past behavior and current harm don't hold equal weight. You don't owe them a cost-benefit analysis before you're allowed to ask for something to change. 5. 'You always do this.'This phrase will be used to try to reframe the conflict through the lens of why you're impossible to please because of some fixed trait. If you're always irritable, dramatic or negative, then nothing they do is good enough. Which can only mean that this incident is your fault, not theirs. In the moment, you can respond by saying "Let's talk about what happened tonight before we talk about a pattern."Ultimately, this isn't about controlling your partner's word choice. And a single instance of one of these phrases doesn't mean your relationship is doomed to fail. The first time your partner says one of these, call it out and observe what they do next. If they are capable of reflection, understanding and change, that's great. If it keeps happening and no amount of communication on your part makes a difference, then you have your answer.Dr. Sabrina Romanoff is a Harvard-trained clinical psychologist, professor, and writer specializing in relationships, high-achievement and anxiety. Her research has been published in the Journal of Psychiatry Research and presented at the Harvard Medical School Mysell Psychiatry Research Symposium. She has been featured in The New York Times, Forbes, Women's Health, USA Today, and on CBS and ABC. Follow her on Instagram @DrSabrinaRomanoff.Want to get ahead at work? Then you need to learn how to make effective small talk. In CNBC's new online course, How To Talk To People At Work, expert instructors share practical strategies to help you use everyday conversations to gain visibility, build meaningful relationships and accelerate your career growth. Sign up today!