After splitting, Fred and Hester decided to sleep with other people – and still be intimate with each other once in a while. Now back together, they’ve never been happier
How do you do it? Share the story of your sex life, anonymously
Having a break has been great for our sex life
About four years into our relationship, Hester and I got to a point where we weren’t being open with each other. She had reservations about the relationship and our future together, and I could sense her uncertainty, which had a knock-on effect on me. She was distant and I felt insecure. We would lie in bed, not having sex, and I’d roll over feeling unwanted.
We decided to break up, but this decision actually freed us. While we were apart, we’d have sex when we met up about once a month, but we also slept with other people. Hester saw me having sexual autonomy as attractive. I found my mojo and brought that back into our relationship. I wasn’t jealous because I knew I had the power, so Hester sleeping with others didn’t feel threatening. I felt secure in her desire in a way that I hadn’t previously.
