Coleen advises a reader who is worried about his friend, who appears to be on a destructive path. His latest escapade involves sleeping with a co-worker, even though he's in a relationship11:33, 05 Aug 2026Dear Coleen,I’m a man in my early 30s and have a good mate who’s doing his best to blow his life up at the moment. He drinks too much, gets into scrapes and the other night he confessed he’d slept with a co-worker, even though he’s in a long-term relationship with the loveliest girl, who’s also an old friend of mine.I don’t think he’s got a drink problem per se, but he’s acting like he’s 18 and back at uni, even though he’s 32. I think part of it is his new job and he’s trying to keep up with or impress his new, younger colleagues.I know talking to him is pointless because I’ve tried, but I feel I owe it to his girlfriend to say something. I care about her and feel she ought to be put in the picture. I only know about him sleeping with this one woman, but there might be others he’s not told me about.‌I’m pretty disgusted by his behaviour and don’t want his girlfriend to get hurt. All my female friends think I should say something to her, but I don’t know. What do you think?Coleen says,You should try talking to him again and this time explain he’s put you in a difficult position because his girlfriend is your friend, too, and you don’t want to see her get hurt. Be honest in terms of how you feel about his behaviour.As far as telling her goes, it’s often a case of “shoot the messenger”, so be aware of that. She could be devastated and cry in your arms, then make up with her boyfriend and you’re kicked to the kerb.It’s also worth reminding him that his girlfriend might find out because these things usually come to light at some point.‌Not everyone is discreet and gossip spreads. And you should also tell him that if it happens again, you don’t want to know about it. Maybe his younger colleagues are impressed, but you’re not.I lost good friends because of this situation. They worked with my husband, who was having an affair, and suddenly they stopped coming over for Sunday dinner, which confirmed my suspicions that something was going on.When I spoke to them after it came out, they explained they couldn’t tell me but, equally, they couldn’t sit at my table pretending everything was OK. I respected them for that. So, another thing you could do is not sit at their table.Choose Daily Mirror as a 'Preferred Source' on Google News for quick access to the news you value.‌