Coleen advises a reader whose husband had an affair with her best friend. He's moved out, and they're together - and she's trying to hold it together for the sake of the children.10:53, 27 Jul 2026Dear ColeenI found out my husband was having an affair and not just with anyone, but with one of my best friends, who’s also godmother to our eldest daughter.I felt so betrayed and devastated. I stopped sleeping and eating properly, and still had to care for our daughters, who are four and one, as he moved out.They’re together now properly and I still haven’t spoken to her because I’m so angry, I don’t know how I’ll react if I see her. He’s always had a wandering eye (although I was never aware of any affairs until now), but I trusted her and never thought she’d blow up my marriage and our friendship like this.It’s only been two months since he moved out and he’s already making noises about us all “getting along” for the sake of the kids, but I’m afraid it’s beyond me right now.‌I don’t think I’ll ever be able to “get along” with her again. Her husband and kids are also heartbroken and it’s all such a mess. How would you deal with this nightmare situation?Coleen says,It’s really tough, but my best piece of advice for now is to let some time pass. It’s only been two months since he moved out – he shouldn’t even be suggesting you all “get along”. You need time to process what’s happened.But I’d suggest that whatever you feel about her and him, try hard not to use the kids to hurt your ex as they’ll be the ones who suffer the most and it can cause lasting damage.‌This very situation happened to a close friend of mine. She was confiding in her best friend about problems in her marriage, not realising that her friend was sleeping with her husband. Her children went through a terrible time because of how she reacted and it was a lesson to me when I got divorced. I did everything I could to shield my two boys and keep things as normal as possible for them.Look, you never have to be friends with this woman again, but these horrible, intense feelings will fade. You will start to feel stronger and, hopefully, down the line you will meet the person you deserve. One day, you’ll probably be thankful you saw your ex’s true colours and that you’re no longer married to him.In the long term, there will probably come a point where you have to be in the same room as her but in the meantime, she doesn’t have to feature in your life. Communicate with your ex about arrangements for the kids. I’d also urge you to get therapy, so you have someone to talk to regularly. It really helped me.‌Coleen’s words of wisdomThe next time someone comes to you with a problem, ask if they want advice or if they just want you to listen. Sometimes just being there to listen is enough to help lift the weight.Choose Daily Mirror as a 'Preferred Source' on Google News for quick access to the news you value.‌