Dear Caroline, I always thought my husband and I had a satisfying sex life. We have been married for 28 years, although we were very young and inexperienced when we met. Recently, however, he told me he is ‘bored’ in bed and would like to try new things. This has left me wondering whether he is having an affair. I’m in quite a state about it. I was happy with things as they were and am not sure I feel comfortable with his suggestions. I worry that if I refuse, even if he is not having an affair, he may start looking elsewhere.Caroline West-Meads replies: An affair might be one painful possibility, but it is not the only explanation. Are there other warning signs, such as becoming secretive with his phone, changing his routine or seeming emotionally distant? It may simply be that he has been influenced by friends or by the constant message from TV, films and social media that we should all be swinging from the chandeliers. Recently my husband told me he is ‘bored’ in bed and would like to try new things. This has left me wondering whether he is having an affair, writes a reader (picture posed by models)Ask him calmly whether his wish to liven up your sex life is connected to someone else. He will probably deny it either way, but how he responds – openly and reassuringly, or evasively and defensively – could tell you a great deal.If you decide to explore new ideas together, books such as Mating In Captivity by Esther Perel or Guide To Getting It On by Paul Joannides encourage open communication and mutual respect. If your fears prove true, counselling can offer support and help you decide what happens next.My teenage daughter is furious about my pregnancyDear Caroline,I had my daughter when I was only 22. She was the result of a short, very unhappy relationship and I never intended to get pregnant. However, she is now 15, the love of my life, and we have always been incredibly close. Her father has never been part of our lives. Contact CarolineIf you have a problem, write to Caroline West-Meads at YOU, 9 Derry Street, London W8 5HY, or email c.west-meads@mailonsunday.co.uk. Two years ago I married a good man and, at first, my daughter was really happy for us. I was delighted they got on well. Then my husband and I discovered we were expecting a baby together – planned this time – and it should be such a happy moment. However, my daughter is distraught and furious. Sometimes she sobs uncontrollably; other times she shouts that we’ve ruined her life. If my husband comes into the room, she often walks straight out and slams the door. I’ve tried reassuring her that she’ll still have plenty of my attention, but she refuses to listen. I’m in despair.Caroline West-Meads replies: Your letter is heartbreaking because what should be a joyful time has become overshadowed by your daughter’s distress. But, sadly, her reaction is understandable. For 15 years she has had almost all of your love and attention. When you married, she was secure enough to build a relationship with your husband because she still felt she came first. Now she is facing sharing you with a sibling and may even fear – however irrationally – that you’ll love this baby more since you also love its father.I suspect a lot of the emotion she is expressing is fear. Teenagers are not renowned for emotional evenness and everything can feel enormous at that age. For now, ease up on telling her she’ll love the baby. She probably will eventually, but asking her to love someone she currently sees as taking you away may simply feel too much. Instead, tell her you know she’s scared by how much life is about to change, but that nothing will ever alter your love for her.Be honest that the first few months may be difficult while you’re exhausted, but reassure her you’ll still make time just for the two of you, with your husband’s help. Accept as much practical support as you can after the birth, so you have the energy to care for your baby without losing precious time with your daughter. Your husband’s patience and kindness will be important too, particularly as she may worry that, without a father of her own, she’ll lose her place with him. This will be a difficult transition, but with love, patience and reassurance, your daughter will realise her life isn’t ruined, only changed. It may also help for her to have somewhere safe to express her fears and anger, so do consider counselling through relate.org.uk or youngminds.org.uk.