By Steve Eder, Charles Homans, Jan Ransom and Michael Rothfeld June 16, 2026 For all the theories about Jeffrey Epstein’s death, little has been known from him, in his own words, about his time in confinement in the Metropolitan Correctional Center in Lower Manhattan in the summer of 2019.This spring, The Times successfully petitioned a federal judge to unseal a long-hidden apparent suicide note by Epstein that was found after what seemed to be an attempt to end his life weeks before his death. That note said, “It is a treat to be able to choose one’s time to say goodbye.”But as it turns out, Epstein jotted down far more of his volatile thoughts while he sat in jail for more than a month that summer. He filled legal-pad pages with chaotic scrawls and runic drawings, laced with his distinctive inconsistent capitalization and punctuation — provocative and intriguing but hopelessly open to interpretation. In places, however, the notes are more coherent and direct: He drew up battle plans for fighting his case. He brainstormed about information he might have on powerful people that could give him leverage. He bemoaned jail conditions. Most notably, he wrote about his fury and despair — with clear indications that he was contemplating ending his own life.We obtained a collection of Epstein’s jail jottings, never seen before, which provide a unique window into his mind-set in the weeks and days leading up to his death.‘Already went to jail for it’ On July 18, Epstein’s 13th day in jail, the federal judge overseeing his case denied his bid for bail, a blow to his hopes to escape the confines of the M.C.C. In this note, Epstein rejected the arguments being made by prosecutors to keep him in jail as he awaited trial. He denied he’d ever been a hedge fund manager, rejecting the government’s description of him and his work. He stated that he had never cooperated with the government. He complained that the case was “NOT NEW” — that it was being resurrected from old charges. And he added that the government “felt pressure” to come after him — making an “end run” around his sentencing agreement from a decade earlier.‘Trump is a total con artist’ Epstein thought one way out of jail could be for him to share information with prosecutors about President Trump, who was then serving his first term in office. Epstein and Trump had been close friends in the late 1980s through the early 2000s but had a falling out around then. When Trump won the 2016 election, Epstein cast himself as a Trump interpreter for influential friends and international contacts. But now he couldn’t come up with much, scribbling that the president was a “con artist" — “smoke & mirrors” — and adding that Allen H. Weisselberg, the chief financial officer of the Trump Organization (who would plead guilty to tax fraud and perjury in the years ahead), “knows all.” Epstein also wrote that the public should get Trump’s college transcripts — that the president was “not a stable genius,” as he had claimed.‘J’Accuse’ On July 22, Epstein wrote a kind of cri de coeur, portraying himself as a victim of the #MeToo movement. He noted that the crimes he was accused of were old, from 2002 to 2005, and were for patronizing “prostitutes.” (He pleaded guilty in Florida to procuring a minor for prostitution.) “J’Accuse,” as he titled the page, was an apparent quotation of Emile Zola’s 1898 public letter denouncing the biased prosecution of the Jewish French military officer Alfred Dreyfus for treason, of which Dreyfus was later exonerated. “Jewish — Rich — Politics,” he wrote, seemingly comparing himself to Dreyfus. “Believe the victim = Believe the Accuser” he wrote, adding, “CRAZY!”Hours later, Epstein would be found on the floor of his cell with an orange noose around his neck in an apparent suicide attempt weeks before his death.‘Impossible to mount a defense’ Epstein seemed to feel increasingly depressed about the conditions of his incarceration. He was identified, he wrote, as a “Billionaire Pedophile in jail.” He complained about “no sleep, no air, screams” and wrote that the guards played loud music all night while inmates banged on doors. The guards, he wrote, told his cellmate that “if he beat the shit out of me, they wouldn’t file a report.” He emphasized the humiliation of it all, noting that he had been “Told to get Depends instead of being able to use the toilet.”‘ONLY PAIN TO ME & others’ The future, Epstein wrote, would mean “ONLY PAIN” to himself and others. “Why should people I Lov suffer for my problem,” he mused. In a significant echo, he added a line from the “Little Rascals” film and TV franchise — “So … Watcha want me to-do? … Bust out cryin!!” That line also appears in the purported suicide note found in his cell after the apparent attempt on July 23. Epstein concluded by writing “Best for all.”