Women in the UK are furious, according to a new report that found we’re the angriest in Europe. I’ll bet my bottom dollar that cultural expectations of endless work with minimal support during early motherhood have something to do with it — not just all day, but all night too.
The apparent consensus is that once half a couple is back at work after having a baby, they should be excused from dealing with them overnight. Thanks to the UK’s abysmal parental leave system, in a heterosexual relationship, the person returning to their desk tends to be the man, leaving the woman to deal with the baby 24 hours a day. I’ve been staggered by how friends and acquaintances take a mother’s nighttime shift – and a father’s undisturbed sleep, ready for the office – for granted.
The more I think about it, the more my blood boils. Since I had a baby eight months ago, my partner and I have tried to split the labour of caring for him as evenly as possible – “tried” being the operative word. With both biology (breastfeeding) and society (nine months maternity versus two weeks paternity leave) conspiring against us, it can feel like pushing a boulder up a hill. Nonetheless, we keep shoving, and sharing the nights has been pivotal.
