For many working mothers, a normal day at the desk often carries an invisible emotional weight. It is not only about meetings, deadlines and household responsibilities, but also about the guilt of missing small moments with their children. A London based Indian woman has opened up about this reality, sharing how motherhood, work and life abroad have changed the way she looks at success, ambition and family.An Indian woman in London revealed how motherhood changed her idea of success, ambition and career priorities.Pooja Awana Choudhary, a 34-year-old mother from Noida, Uttar Pradesh, lives in London with her husband and their two year old son. Speaking with HT.com, Choudhary said she moved to the UK in February 2020 after her marriage to pursue her master’s degree. She had earlier completed her BTech in Computer Science Engineering from GNIT Girls Institute of Technology in 2014, and later studied MSc in Digital Transformation in the UK.Choudhary currently works as a consultant in the market research industry and has been working professionally in the UK for nearly five years. While she values her career and describes her workplace as flexible and supportive, she says the emotional side of being a working mother is often not visible to others.A 9-to-5 routine with motherhood in betweenDescribing her typical workday, Choudhary said her mornings usually begin at 6 am.“I have a hybrid system in my company, so most days I work from home, but working from home in a mother's life includes 1000s of other tasks. Like you have to be responsible for the baby's food and milk throughout the day, shower him, make him sleep and also prepare your own food and manage the house at the same time,” she said.Unlike in India, where many families receive support from relatives or hired help, Choudhary said life in the UK is different. “There is no additional support in our house, it's me and my husband who manages everything. Even when I had my baby, it was my husband who took care of me and our baby as I had gone through a major surgery. My brother came from India for the initial 3 weeks, which was a huge support. And I had a difficult postpartum journey,” she said.When the mother is at workChoudhary said she works mostly from home, but has to travel for client meetings on some days. During those days, her husband takes leave from work to look after their child and later compensates by working on Saturday and Sunday.She said her husband plays an important role in managing the household and childcare. “We share a lot of responsibilities, like morning baby duties, which are all handled by my husband, as he has a flexible work routine and he can start his work day from 12 pm or 1 pm. I get all the help in the morning with baby, his showers, while I make sure I prepare food and other things for the rest of the day,” she said.(Also read: Bengaluru mall’s special parking spot for mothers to be wins internet praise: ‘Very nice concept’)She added, “On most mornings when I have calls and am busy, my husband manages all the breakfast duties and kitchen duties as well. On weekends, especially Saturday, my husband is the kitchen king; he manages the full-day routine while I spend my time with my baby and other household chores.”The video that started a conversationChoudhary recently shared a video about waiting to see a photograph of her own child from someone else’s phone during the workday. Explaining what prompted her to post it, she said it came from a deeply personal emotion.“I was sitting at my work desk, doing what I needed to do, but part of my heart was somewhere else with my child. And I realised how many mums experience this every single day. We wait for updates, photos, little glimpses of our own children from someone else’s phone, because we’re busy earning, providing, paying bills, and trying to build a stable life for them,” she said.She clarified that the video was not about blaming work or suggesting that mothers should not have careers. Instead, it was about showing the emotional side of working motherhood.“It wasn’t about blaming work or saying mums shouldn’t have careers. It was about showing the emotional side that people don’t always see. The guilt. The missing out. The pretending you’re fine in meetings when your mind is wondering what your child is doing. The strange feeling of seeing your child’s day through someone else’s camera,” she said.Choudhary said she shared the video because she knew many working mothers would relate to the feeling. “If one working mum watched it and felt less alone, then that video had a purpose. It started a bigger conversation about motherhood, work, money, and why so many mums are now looking for flexible ways to earn without missing so much of their children’s lives,” she said.The fear working mothers carryFor Choudhary, one particular moment made her reflect deeply on the emotional challenges of being a working mother. Her office is nearly one hour and forty minutes away from home. One day, while returning from work, she had a thought that stayed with her.“Yes, there was one moment that really stayed with me. My office is almost 1 hour and 40 minutes away from home, and one day on my way back from work, I suddenly thought: “What if something happens to my child while I’m at the office? How quickly could I even get to him?” And the honest answer broke me a little because I knew I wouldn’t be able to reach him quickly,” she said.She said that moment made her realise that working motherhood is not only about leaving for office and returning home. It is also about constant worry, fear and guilt that stays in the background.“That moment made me realise the emotional weight working mums carry every day. It’s not just about going to work and coming home. It’s the constant worry in the background. The guilt. The fear of missing something important. The thought that your child might need you, and you’re miles away trying to do your job,” she said.(Also read: Indian tech couple divorce after wife refuses to quit high-paying job to care for mother-in-law)Choudhary said this experience also pushed her to think about building something more flexible online. “It’s one of the reasons I started thinking seriously about building something more flexible online — not because I don’t value work, but because I wanted more choice, more control, and the ability to be there for my child when he needs me,” she said.The guilt of not spending enough timeChoudhary said the guilt of not spending enough quality time with her child is something she experiences every day, especially when she drops him at nursery. Her son goes to nursery for four hours, three days a week.“Oh, that happens every single day, especially when I drop my son at the nursery. He goes to the nursery for 4 hours 3 days a week. By the time he is back, I am super tired mentally as I have to prepare dinner and plan the next day ahead. He sleeps between 8 and 9 pm, and I am left with the guilt that I never spend quality time with him during the week,” she said.She said she often plans activities and learning time with her son, but finds it difficult to manage everything during the week. “I don't get time to make him learn a lot of things, which I plan to do with him as I have very little time,” she added.Motherhood changed her idea of successChoudhary said motherhood has completely changed the way she thinks about career, growth and priorities. Before becoming a mother, she mainly thought about professional stability and doing well at work. Now, she says success means something different.“Yes, motherhood has completely changed the way I think about my career and my priorities. Before becoming a mum, I used to think mainly about career growth, stability, and doing well professionally. I still care about my work, and I still want to grow, but motherhood has made me look at success very differently,” she said.While she continues to value her job, Choudhary said her child is now her biggest priority. “My career is still important to me and I love how my company is always flexible with time and Work from home, I cannot thank enough my manager and other memebers of the company, at the same time my child has become my biggest priority. I want to provide for him, but I also want to be available for him. That balance is what made me think seriously about building something more flexible alongside my job,” she said.She added that motherhood has made her more ambitious, but in a different way. “I no longer just want professional success. I want choices. I want financial security. I want flexibility. I want to create a life where I don’t have to constantly choose between being a good employee and being a present mother,” she said.What workplaces can do betterChoudhary believes workplaces are improving, especially in the UK, but there is still a need for deeper understanding of the realities faced by mothers with young children.“I think workplaces are improving, especially in the UK; they understand a mother's perspective and offer all the support, but many still don’t fully understand the reality of being a working mother,” she said.She said flexibility remains the biggest support for mothers. “For mums with young children, flexibility makes the biggest difference — flexible hours, more work-from-home options, understanding during nursery emergencies, and not making mothers feel guilty when their child needs them,” she said.Choudhary added, “Working mothers don’t want special treatment. We want trust, understanding, and the chance to do our jobs well without feeling like we are failing our children.”Living costs and little savingsWhen asked about her salary range, Choudhary chose not to disclose the figure. However, she said that living costs and taxes in the UK are high, and saving money is difficult, especially while supporting family back in India.“I would skip this. But would say living costs and taxes are so high that we barely save anything, especially as we support my husband's family back in India financially,” she said.Despite the challenges, she said she currently feels she has one of the most flexible workplaces among people she knows in the UK.A message for working mothersChoudhary said she wants other working mothers to stop feeling that they are failing. She said the emotional exhaustion, guilt and pressure are shared experiences, even if many women do not speak about them openly.“My message to other working mothers is: please don’t think you are failing. If you are tired, emotional, guilty, overwhelmed, or constantly trying to be everything for everyone, you are not alone,” she said.She added, “Being a working mother is not easy. You are trying to build a career, support your family, be present for your child, and still hold yourself together. That takes so much strength.”(Also read: Woman laid off twice shares powerful comeback after career break and motherhood: 'I became my own boss')Choudhary urged women to be kinder to themselves. “I would say give yourself grace. You are doing more than you realise. It is emotionally and mentally draining at times. But keep holding that fort as you are going to thank yourself for doing that one day,” she said.She also said that wanting flexibility does not make a woman less ambitious. “And also, it is okay to want more flexibility, more support, and more choices. Wanting a life where you can provide for your family and be present for your child does not make you less ambitious; it makes you human,” she said.