A slow query lands in your lap. You run EXPLAIN ANALYZE and get back a wall of indented text that looks like someone fed a query plan through a blender. Most developers stare at it for a few minutes and give up.

You do not need to understand every node. There are five patterns that cover the vast majority of real-world slow queries, and once you can spot them, the output goes from intimidating to immediately actionable.

Run it

SELECT u.name, COUNT(o.id) AS order_count

FROM users u