LifestyleSex & RelationshipsColeen NolanAgony aunt Coleen Nolan advises a reader who is finding living with her partner increasingly tough. She cooks and cleans and wishes he would do more around the house.11:01, 23 May 2026Dear ColeenI hope this doesn’t sound like a trivial/first world problem, but I’m struggling to cohabit with my husband. We both work full time – no kids yet – but I’m the one who keeps the house together. If I didn’t, we’d be living in total chaos and neither of us would have any clothes to wear.‌I make the food, I tidy and clean, do the laundry and put it away, wash up or stack and unstack the dishwasher. I also keep on top of the bills, house repairs and so on. The only thing he begrudgingly does is take the bins out and thinks that’s him done for the week.‌‌Whenever I’ve tackled him about being messy and not pulling his weight, he comes back with excuses like, “You’re the better cook”, “I’m clumsy and break dishes”, “I wash the clothes wrong” etc. All those things are true, but still.We’d both like children in the future, but how will it work if he won’t pitch in and I have to look after a big manchild, as well as our actual kids?‌I’m starting to resent him and do things to get him back, like not be interested in sex or make food for myself and not him. I know it’s petty, but how can I get through to him?Coleen saysWell, I don’t think it’s petty actually because it’s these seemingly smaller issues that over time can break relationships. But stop trying to address the problem when you’re frustrated or angry about something he hasn’t done. Sit down and have a proper discussion and tell him how you truly feel – that you’re literally being his parent and what you want to be is a team where you share the responsibilities of your life together.Explain that you hate feeling like a nagging mum – it’s not attractive, it’s not sexy and it’s not fair. You need to feel you can rely on him to step up and do his fair share, especially if you do have children one day.Article continues belowAlso, let him try things and make mistakes – don’t swoop in and do it for him. Maybe he can find some recipes to try on YouTube or you can have a laugh cooking together.The point is, if he were doing more to help, then you’d have more time as a couple to enjoy the fun stuff. For me, there’s nothing sexier than a guy mucking in with the mundane chores.Coleen NolanShe brought her frank views to Loose Women - now she is Britain's straightest-talking agony aunt, giving advice on your sex, relationship and life problems.