NewsUK NewsColeen NolanAgony aunt Coleen Nolan advises a reader who is losing touch with her family because she can't stand her brother's girlfriend, who is causing arguments and stress15:15, 23 May 2026Dear ColeenI’m a woman in my 20s and I’m becoming increasingly distant from my family because I can’t bear my brother’s girlfriend. He’s my only sibling and I can’t believe he’s chosen someone so obnoxious as his partner.‌She has a very divisive effect in our family, causing disagreements and stress. Basically, she’s a massive attention seeker and wants everyone to bend to her will on everything from where to go for lunch to what time we get together to what we’re wearing to meet her family. She’s always creating a drama or throwing a spanner in the works for no reason I can see other than that she’s spoiled brat.‌‌Unfortunately, I found out recently they’ve got engaged, which my brother’s girlfriend gushed about all over social media. I just can’t be happy for my brother, though. All my mum said was: “I suppose we’d better buckle up!” I’m guessing she’s probably not thrilled either, but would never say anything mean.What do I do? I find myself turning down invites from my parents because I can’t stand being in the same room as my brother’s girlfriend. She’s ruined my family for me!‌Coleen saysI think you need to be careful not to get this out of proportion. No one should keep you from your family and you must not exclude yourself.I think there are two options, really. You carry on turning down invites and making it obvious you don’t like her, in which case you’ll lose your brother and make things difficult for your parents, who are stuck in the middle. Or you accept she’s the person your brother has chosen and, because you love him, you rise above it and bite your tongue and do whatever it takes to make things pleasant when you’re all together.That doesn’t mean you can’t disagree with her or share your opinion – you don’t have to be a doormat. Also, when it comes to her bossing you all around, why can’t you decide on things as a family by taking a vote?Article continues belowYou’ve got your own life and you don’t have to attend everything, but you should be there for the bigger events. You can always have a debrief afterwards with your mates or your partner to get things off your chest.Take it from one who knows, family rifts are painful and best avoided, so if you’re able to put up with your future sis-in-law for a few hours now and again for the sake of your family, that’s the best way to play it.Coleen NolanShe brought her frank views to Loose Women - now she is Britain's straightest-talking agony aunt, giving advice on your sex, relationship and life problems.