Coleen advises a reader who feels like she's being taken advantage on by her friend who relies heavily on her for childcare. Should she speak up, or will it ruin their friendship?09:49, 02 Jul 2026Dear Coleen,I’m in a bit of an awkward situation with my best friend. We’re both single mums, working part time, and look after each other’s kids when the other is working. This has been a great arrangement until recently. In a nutshell, she’s started to get more work, which means I’m having her kids more than I was.We agreed at the start that we wouldn’t charge each other for the childminding, as it benefitted both of us and it was evenly split.However, the balance is off now – she’s earning more and I’m looking after her kids for nothing. I don’t want to come across as jealous or unreasonable, but I’m not sure this is fair. And what if I want to take on more work?She didn’t offer to pay me for the extra days, which I would have done. But probably what’s bothering me the most is that she didn’t really ask if it was OK – she just took it for granted that I’d have her children, even though it falls outside what we originally agreed.‌The problem is, I don’t want to make too much of a fuss because she really helps me out on the days when I am working. What do I do?Coleen says,Well, it does seem unfair and I think she’s pushing her luck a bit and taking advantage of your close friendship. The way to approach it might be to suggest that it would be a good idea to come up with a plan for childcare going forward.You could also say you’d like the option of taking on more work, too, which would mean you’d both need extra help for your kids, and you might even be able to share the cost of a childminder for days that fall outside your original agreement.‌I think it would be fine if she was just asking for extra help on the odd day here and there, and it’s good to have a certain amount of flexibility, but this is a regular weekly thing.If you don’t address it, you’ll become resentful and it’ll affect your friendship more than if you’d said right at the start: “I’m so happy you’ve got more work – well done. Who’s looking after the kids on those days? I might be able to help if you’re really stuck.”This childcare arrangement needs to work for you both. Hopefully if you start a conversation, it’ll clear the air and you can figure it out. You’ve done a wonderful job of supporting each other until this point, so I think it would be a real shame for you to fall out over it.‌Coleen's words of wisdomThe ability to remain calm really is a superpower. It shows confidence, it helps you to see situations more clearly and to make better decisions. It also defuses conflict and reduces stress for the people around you.Choose Daily Mirror as a 'Preferred Source' on Google News for quick access to the news you value.‌