QuestionMy husband and I have a daughter who is nearly eight and starting second class. She is very bright in many ways – she’s quite artistic, funny and highly emotionally intelligent. However, she struggles academically at school, especially with reading and we are in the process of assessments for ADHD and dyslexia. She is in a national school which prides itself on its academics. I’ve felt since she started there that it is not the right fit for her in terms of her development and fostering all of her other skills and abilities. There are also 28 children in her class as there is only one class per year which I feel is way too many. I would like to look at alternative schools, but worry about separating her from her friends and making the leap to alternative schooling.Also, my husband is quite traditional and would like her to stay in mainstream schooling.Ultimately, we want to do what’s best for our daughter, but are not sure how to proceed and how to get on the same page about it.AnswerChoosing the best school for your child can be a complicated decision where you have to weigh up many different factors before you make your best choice as parent. Below are some of those factors many of which you have already consideredYour child’s needsAs your daughter may have dyslexia and ADHD, it is important for her to attend a school that embraces these differences positively. Most schools have a policy on how they support children with additional needs and many provide accommodations for ADHD children or run special educational programmes for dyslexic children either integrated into the class or delivered to children individually or in small groups. Ask to see the policy of any school you are considering, and even to meet the teachers who might co-ordinate additional educational needs (AEN) in the school. In addition, it is worth checking out what supports your daughter’s current school might provide. You can ask for a meeting when you have your daughter’s assessments reports and educational recommendations. As you have mentioned there are some alternative schools that propose different child-centred approaches to education with smaller classrooms which may fit well with your daughter’s artistic nature – and lots of ADHD children prefer project or activity based learning that is largely self-directed. However, aside from a school philosophy a key reason children thrive in a primary school is down to the quality of the individual teacher and how their teaching style might fit with an individual child. Timing a school changeMoving to a different school, even if it is better suited to your child’s needs, can bring challenges. Many children can find the changes to existing friendships and routines difficult and the move can bring practical challenges such as increased distance or commuting making it harder to join and maintain new friendship groups etc. One option is to delay making a school change until the secondary school transition when the change is more normal and everyone is moving and starting again.Indeed, picking a secondary school that meets your daughter’s needs is in some ways more important than the choice of a primary school now. As academic and social pressures increase during the start of secondary school, it is important to have a school that is sensitive to your daughter’s different needs. So as you weigh up options now, do consider you daughter’s longer term options as well.Making a family decisionUltimately, choosing a school is a personal decision that reflects your values and preferences as well as your daughter’s needs. It is quite normal for parents to have different views and priorities on education – you may be interested in alternative schooling now and your husband might prefer more mainstream. I would encourage you to tease out these issues together and to try to come to a consensus. Listen to your husband’s concerns and explore what underpins his hope for a traditional school. It might be an idea to visit possible schools together during open days, read their policies, listen to the experience of other families etc, as you work out what is best.I would encourage you also to listen to your daughter’s preferences too. She is still quite young (and of course you make the decisions) but she may have some strong preferences – she could be the type of girl who is happy to try something new or she might strongly prefer to stay where she is. Rather than worrying her about an immediate school move, you could raise the subject indirectly and talk generally how schools are different and what she likes (and doesn’t like) in her school.There may be children in her class who have moved from another school and you chat about this: “How is the new girl getting on/making friends?” to give you a sense of how she might cope with such a change herself.John Sharry is Clinical Director of the Parents Plus Charity and an adjunct professor at the UCD School of Psychology. He is author of several parenting books, including Positive Parenting and Parenting Teenagers. See solutiontalk.ie, parentsplus.ie