Have you ever wondered how narcissists continue to have a circle of loved ones or a long-term partner who continues to go back to them again and again?
No, it’s not their larger-than-life personality or grandiose sense of self. Instead, it’s because of “narcissistic hoovering,” which is a manipulation tactic that draws people back into their orbit.
The name “hoovering” comes from the vacuum cleaner brand Hoover, said Rachna Buxani, a licensed mental health counselor and author of “Unseen: A Therapist’s Reflection on a Daughter’s Journey Through a Narcissistic Father’s Shadow.”
Hoovering happens when a narcissist tries to get a former romantic partner, a family member or even a friend to come back into their life after a breakup or falling out, said Wendy T. Behary, the founder and director of The Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey and author of “Disarming the Narcissist.”
“It’s almost like sucking somebody back into the relationship,” Buxani said — hence the term “hoovering.”
