An online personality quiz made me feel understood, but it also created a mental cage
Sometimes, taking an internet quiz on a random Tuesday night can change your life – first for the better, then for the worse.
Are you bothered by intense stimuli, like loud noises, strong smells or caffeine? Are you deeply moved by the arts or nature? Do you become overwhelmed when a lot is going on around you? Do you have difficulty with big changes?
For as long as I can remember, I’ve seemed to feel life more intensely than many other people. I move through my days flayed open, exposed to the world. I can smell food, the ocean, flowers when no one else seems to. A beautiful sunrise will send me into ecstatic rapture. I am fascinated by and in awe of the smallest daily occurrences. Large social events such as weddings can leave me overwhelmed to the point of dissociation. Once, when driving on the freeway, I saw a driver swerve to intentionally hit a brown snake with his tyres. I sobbed so hard I had to pull over. Because it wasn’t just that snake. For a moment, that cruelty and suffering seemed connected to all other cruelty and suffering, part of the same invisible weave, and it was all happening now. Could anyone else feel everything all at once, I wondered.
