Every day I try to give a genuine compliment, so if I like someone’s clothes, hair or makeup, I’ll tell them. It has made me more present, confident and at ease talking to people
I
’m an ambivert. No, it’s not some made-up personality type. I enjoy spending time with others and socialising, but I need time alone to recharge. Starting conversations and keeping them flowing smoothly have never come naturally to me. I overthink everything: “Am I speaking too much? I haven’t said anything in the past five minutes. Quick, say something. Oh no, I’ve missed my opening. Wait, why did I say that? That was weird.”
These are the thoughts that are constantly swirling in my head mid-conversation, and then I’ll go home, replay it all again and cringe at that one thing I said. I have always been deeply envious of people who can charm and easily work a room. So, in the past year, I’ve set myself a challenge: to compliment a stranger at least once a day – and it has to be genuine.
If I see someone wearing something great, I’ll say it’s cute and ask where it’s from. If they’re sporting beautiful lipstick or have great hair, I’ll compliment them and ask for details. Whether it’s a cashier, a barista or someone walking past me, I try to say it out loud instead of just thinking it. The other day, in the queue at Golden Gate Bakery in London’s Chinatown, I told an older Asian woman her perm looked incredible. All bounce, no frizz. We ended up bonding over which bakeries still make proper old-school Chinese pineapple buns.
