The one change that worked: I went to a festival by myself and made peace with being perimenopausal

As I reached my late-40s, I’d become anxious and risk-averse. A solo trip made me realise who I was again – and taught me to embrace the thrill of trying something new

I

used to pride myself on being a gung-ho kind of person, embracing change and thrills in life, whether that was travelling alone to South America or doing standup comedy. But, as my 40s progressed, I found myself becoming more cautious. I started to choose the safer option, such as booking a package holiday instead of a DIY adventure, or hesitating before sending a work email, worried it didn’t sound “right”.

I felt anxiety, low mood and brain fog – all symptoms of perimenopause – creeping in. I was in what I would call a menopausal funk: weighed down by my feelings and my slightly aching body. I began experiencing this two years ago. I’m 47 now. Taking HRT (hormone replacement therapy) helped, but I felt as if I had reached a point in my life where I had to accept that I was just going to be a bit less “me” and not so brave.

So, when I received an email from the charity Calm (Campaign Against Living Miserably) asking for volunteers at Glastonbury, I surprised myself by saying yes. The deal was to work in a bar, for three eight-hour shifts, in return for a free ticket. I would go alone, camp alone, and leave myself at the mercy of making friends with my fellow volunteers. If not, I would be there by myself for six days.