After my eldest son was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder, everything in my life shifted to revolve around him. His needs, his future, and his environment were all I could think about.
To show up for him, I had to learn a new language: how to correct with empathy, how to show more than tell, how to make sure he understood without talking down to him, and how to listen.
It’s one thing to fight for your children to be understood and heard, but it’s quite another to recognize that you spent years being misunderstood yourself.
In my 20s, I spent a lot of time “fixing” myself. I found it challenging to stick with a plan, organize, and balance work and life expectations. I had a hard time paying attention to details or prioritizing tasks, often getting sidetracked by another task that took up less brain space. I had trouble with social performance, finding myself utterly exhausted after networking and following a social script.
All these challenges made it seem like I was careless or flighty. It felt like everyone was excelling in areas that I found emotionally exhausting and it was nearly impossible to keep up. I thought I needed to push harder, do more.
