Your son’s autism may make it even harder to navigate this situation. Try to show him things are better, rather than just telling him
I am a recovering alcoholic and need advice on how to support my son, who is 11 and autistic. I am three months sober with the help of rehab and AA, but my drinking became heavy over the last two years (I was sober for the first six years of my son’s life).
Towards the end, my drinking was 24/7 and my son has sadly seen me out of control and desperately unhappy. He developed a sense of responsibility, that he was the only person who could stop me drinking (by physically removing bottles), which I feel utterly ashamed about. I have said to him many times that the only person who can stop me drinking is me.
He lived with his father for a few months (we divorced five years ago but he is supportive of my recovery) and moved back in with me when he started high school in September. The trust between us is slowly growing as he can see that I am not drinking and putting all my effort into getting better.
My son is still hyper-vigilant and anxious about my safety. This means he is terribly controlling of my actions – partly because of his anxiety about my drinking, but also because he is autistic and anxious about anything unpredictable. I am working on confidence and boundaries; it would be easy to give in to his demands but this doesn’t feel right as a parent. It is hard as I also feel enormously guilty.
