This is how we do it: ‘In my 50s I want to be “monogam-ish” – to have to have my cake and eat it’

With a 20-year age gap, Gavin and Jimmy aren’t always on the same page with their sexual needs. A little freedom to have sex with other people keeps things hot between them

How do you do it? Share the story of your sex life, anonymously

There was some sexual frustration in our early years together, and that led us to discover that we were both ethically non-monogamous

Ever since I was young, I’ve looked up to strong men. I remember being really interested in my gym teacher when I was at school. So when I saw Gavin’s profile on a dating site, I instantly liked the stats. He’s athletic, pays attention to self-care, and right from the get go we found lots to talk about. It was an easy match.

We’re both into kissing and we love passionate embraces, but at the beginning we weren’t connecting very well physically. It took us time to really develop a strong chemistry in bed. And then one day it just clicked, and we’ve never looked back.