Bernard Rowan argues that Confucianism in Korea remains visible in everyday acts of respect and mutual development, including how children learn to greet older people. He says critics often see Confucianism and women’s interests as incompatible, but a growing body of writing says they can be compatible. He adds that Korean social relations have expanded to include women’s empowerment in work, education, representation and divorce.
Thinking of my first visit to Seoul, I remember a particular interaction. My friend, his eldest son and I left their apartment building. We took the elevator down and arrived on the first floor. As we exited, an older woman, who appeared to be a household worker, was entering the elevator.
My friend made the special effort to have his son bow to her and to greet her with the phrase, “Good morning, ajumeoni.” The bowing took some assistance, but not much. His son was quite young, and I think this was his first time seeing the ajumma. It struck me as very polite but natural or customary, and I inquired as to who she was. This was one of my first lessons about ajumma in Korea.
This was a simple example of building familial bonds of mutual respect by a professor and his son for a woman unrelated to them and not employed by them, but someone, if not from the street, then a stranger, but in a role familiar to the parent. The ajumma was not a peer or from a high-born family by all appearances. My friend wanted his son to learn the behaviors of respect, avoidance of scapegoating and regard for mutual development, or at least an elemental and initial basis for them. Think of how many times this type of behavior does — or does not — occur in Korean society, even to this day.
