Have we become a generation of permissive over-parenters who could be damaging our children? That’s the belief of child development psychologist Dr Siggie Cohen, whose advice is followed online by millions.
Cohen thinks today’s parents over-fix and make things right for our children – we over-negotiate and ask for their permission rather than making decisions (I feel myself blushing at this) and we over-accommodate for our children’s wishes. “We’ve taken children from the complete outskirts of the family to the centre, everything revolves around them,” she explains.
“We came from authoritarian ‘do as I say’ parenting where there was a lot of obedience through fear, to an evolution of emotional growth, emotional language and emotional intelligence. It brought us to a more democratic way, listening and hearing children, understanding they matter and have thoughts, feelings and opinions,” she explains. But now, she says, it has gone too far.
“We can’t just take a good thing and stay with it. We’ve almost moved into the permissive parenting style, which educators say that between authoritarian and authoritative, is the worst [for children and their outcomes].”
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