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Editor’s note: “Follow the Smoothie, Not the Beer” was previously published in June 2026 with the title “The Best Trade Nobody’s Making Because It Doesn’t Involve a GPU.” It has since been updated to include the most relevant information available.

The old night out used to have a predictable rhythm.

Meet for dinner. Order drinks. Stay out late. Spend too much money and call it a good time.

That rhythm is changing.