I was recently introduced to a new concept by a mum friend of mine: being “touched out”. I’d never heard this phrase before, but now I have, I can’t stop thinking about it.
Being touched out is an aspect of parenting that rarely makes it into the Hallmark cards. It’s when you have been so bombarded with relentless physical contact from your tiny human wrestler that when someone so much as brushes past you in the supermarket you experience near psychological collapse and scream: “DON’T TOUCH ME!!”
This all came about after I had happily volunteered to look after said friend’s toddler for the day. I don’t have kids, but pride myself on being a fantastic babysitter, and I love stepping up to care for the tiddlers and teenagers in my life. Honestly, I am A1 at sprog-watching, but this was the first time that I have been trusted to take care of such a small person all on my own. It was a big day for both of us.
Here is what I have learned.
Bloody hell, small children are hard work, aren’t they? They require constant surveillance, but more than that, they absolutely will not leave you alone. They have zero sense of personal space. I don’t know if you know this, but they even follow you into the toilet and just stand there, babbling about Waffle Dog. I know parents are rolling their eyes at me, but I really didn’t know it was this intense. Intellectually, I knew it, but I had never experienced it before, and it was a lot.
