Channel 4’s manipulative, gratuitous The Piano couldn’t leave a worse taste in my mouth if I were literally eating one. The fact that it is hosted by Claudia Winkleman, who I count among British TV’s all-time treasures, is baffling. How on earth did one of the worst programmes in the country come to be fronted by one of its best presenters?
That dissonance leaves room for hope. Could it be that in this fourth series, the premise – wherein amateur pianists audition at train stations around the country for the chance to play at a one-off concert – won’t feel so prurient and patronising, as if the producers are more interested in harrowing sob-stories than talent? Don’t be daft.
In fact, if the new series’ first episode is anything to go by, The Piano has attained new heights of awfulness. In Birmingham’s New Street Station, we are treated to a parade of variously vulnerable people – the show’s youngest ever contestant, seven-year-old Bowen, its oldest, 94-year-old Bob, plus Megan who has Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, Charlotte whose husband has cancer, and Grace who lost her hands and legs to meningitis 15 years ago. And, while I feel grubby leading with those biographical details, I’m only taking my cues from the show.
