I'm the organizer in my friend group. Someone has to be, or we'd never see each other.

The author is the one organizing friends' hangouts.

Courtesy of the author

I'm the organizer in my friend group. But I'm not by nature an organizer. I love to separate the laundry into piles and then shove the clothes, unfolded, into drawers. I'm also not a glamorous, girl boss who makes everyone wear coordinated outfits. And I don't always want to reach out. Like anyone, I can feel vulnerable and exposed. On some level, I'm worried that the group will RSVP explaining that they would never hang out with me because of my squinty right eye and deep love of puns.But, I do it anyway. Organizing does not come naturally to meIn every place I've ever lived, and there have been many, I've been the one who makes plans, sends out that invitation, and brings friends together. Somehow, instinctively, I've known I need female friends, and to have them, someone has to organize.In movies and television shows, friends are secondary to the big goal: finding romantic love. When female friends do take center stage, like in the Netflix show "Sweet Magnolias" (about three absurdly well-dressed friends, who talk sweetly over gourmet snacks), sanitized, unrealistic representations are another problem, especially since many of us know friendship can be messy. It's too much pressure.The only alternative is a big swing in the other direction. Women are supposedly competition, and the media delights in stories of related feuding or cracks in high-profile friend groups, including the Spice Girls, Taylor Swift's "squad", and, more recently, the Ashley Tisdale mom group. In shows like "Gossip Girl," with the cut-throat Blair Waldorf, or the movie "Mean Girls," with the ultimate queen bee, Regina George, the organizers appear to be the rotten core, the cancer that spreads via text or a three-way calling attack.