The author tried the "90s butter mom" parenting trend for a month.
Courtesy of Annabel Lee
My parenting style can be described as a tired mother, trying her best. My approach is mostly gentle and laid-back, with flashes of Type-A-style organization where I try to set boundaries. I love my kids, but often feel overstimulated and overwhelmed, as though, despite my best efforts, I'm not doing it right.So when videos of mothers wearing distressed denim while whipping up snacks and having fun with their children started popping up on my Instagram feed, I was enthralled. They were depicting a parenting trend called the "1990s butter mom." Though the trend may simply be putting a name to a type of parenting that's been around for a while, it seemed like something I should try. "Butter moms" are wholesome and kind, with an aesthetic full of flowing fabrics, scrunchies, and cluttered kitchens.As someone who grew up in the 90s, I tried leaning into being a butter mom for a month to see if it could help me feel less stressed about parenting.I spent more time cookingThe trend emerged as a sort of antithesis to almond moms, who often pass on their restrictive relationships with food to their children. Instead, butter moms are said to enjoy cooking and eating, focusing on nourishment and whole ingredients like butter.While I like cooking, my kids often only want to eat specific things, so my attempts at home-cooked meals were more often enjoyed by me rather than them. After making a wholesome lasagna or vegetable dish, I still had to cook food that my kids would eat, so I gave up and went back to their usual routine. When I tried to bake with them, I ended up exhausted with expensive ingredients all over the kitchen. We did find a good middle ground, though, and enjoyed making cookies together from store-bought dough.Despite this, I did love spending more time in the kitchen, along with spending more time outside gardening, and embracing 90s fashion like dungarees, chunky trainers, and oversize shirts.
