My husband and I spent 40% of our monthly budget on our social lives, so we had to cut back. I worried we'd lose friends.

The author had to cut down on her social spending.

FG Trade Latin/Getty Images

My husband and I had a decent dual income, but by the end of every month, we had nothing left to save. The biggest culprit wasn't rent, shopping, or travel — but our social life.I've always been an extrovert with a social circle that extends way beyond immediate family — from old friends and coworkers to neighbors, fellow school moms, and in-laws. I love staying connected with everyone, meaning my friend list is constantly growing.There was hardly a weekend when we weren't packed with casual or formal events. If we weren't invited somewhere, we hosted. We even happily went along with every impromptu plan, like trying out a cool new place or going for a coffee run.For a long time, I didn't think about how these back-to-back plans consumed our monthly income. While these phases gave me cherished memories, we realized last year that they were breaking the bank.I was apprehensive about saying no to plansSocializing ate up almost 40% of our budget. But saying no, canceling, or scaling back felt painful, almost as if I were denying my own nature. I love hosting and giving gifts. I worried loved ones would judge me or think I was pulling away.But the truth was clear. We couldn't keep spending a huge chunk of our earnings on socializing, leaving us with zero savings and even risking our essential expenses.My husband helped me understand that we needed a balance that preserved our precious bonds without draining our finances. To find that middle ground, we decided to ration our social spending to 20% of our expenses.