With just a single result left to be declared, the European Broadcasting Union (EBU) wobbled upon the precipice of its biggest nightmare. Israel was leading the 70th Eurovision Song Contest, meaning that the 2027 iteration would have to be hosted there. It’s not too great a stretch of the imagination to suggest that this would have meant the competition meeting its non-ABBA Waterloo, given that five countries, including mega winners Ireland, boycotted this year’s knees up due to Israel’s participation.
Yet a whopping last haul of votes for Bulgaria and Dara’s infectiously catchy Bangaranga, a pulsing dance anthem with ample infusions of its almost namesake bhangra, meant that the jamboree will instead head to unexceptionable Sofia and Eurovision will live to fight another day.
Which gig has proved tougher this week: being the UK’s Prime Minister or its Eurovision entrant? It makes for a fiendishly close call of thankless tasks. Sam Battle, AKA Look Mum No Computer, a mad professor in a pink jumpsuit surrounded by dancers wearing furry green computer screens for heads, did at least achieve what Keir Starmer can only dream of by making it to the heart of Europe. His lamentable song with a German title, “Eins Zwei Drei”, written on a synthesizer in his garage, finished in joint last place (with hosts Austria) at the end of the jury vote, before an ignominious eventual progression to sole last place.
