Anyone who has endured month after month (or year after year, even) of sexual dry spells with their partner is usually at their wits’ ends, fearing that the only real solution is separation.
It doesn’t have to be, said Los Angeles-based sex therapist Shannon Chavez. But a sexless marriage can only be saved if both people are willing to commit to changing.
“The higher-libido partner should have a positive attitude and be patient. Don’t take what your partner is experiencing personally,” she said. “Be open to hearing what your partner is saying without reacting in a negative way. Show empathy and be understanding as a first step to addressing the concern.”
The lower-libido partner also needs to be willing to show some empathy, Chavez said, as well as to “try new activities that focus on both connection and pleasure.”
Online message boards are dominated by people who failed to revive their dead bedrooms, but there are success stories. Below, real men and women share the specific things they did to fix their sexless relationships ― including adopting a better attitude toward the problem.
