Has your relationship become a sexual desert? Follow these tips to spice things up again
First up, don’t panic! “Every couple goes through dry spells. It doesn’t mean either of you is broken, and is not an indicator that something is ‘wrong’,” says Dr Tammy Nelson, sex and couples therapist, author of Open Monogamy, and host of The Trouble With Sex podcast. Dr Laurie Mintz, sex therapist and author of Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters – and How to Get It agrees: “The limerence stage, where you can’t keep your hands off each other, lasts six months to two years, then fades, but people think there’s something wrong with them or the relationship.”
For Dr Sara Nasserzadeh, social psychologist and author of Love By Design, our careers, raising children, caregiving and health changes can all impact physical intimacy. “Simply acknowledging that many people go through this and naming it as a ‘season’ or ‘phase’, rather than a ‘failure’, can bring reassurance,” she says.
“Often the relationship a person has within themselves gets projected on to their partner,” says Dr Orna Guralnik, clinical psychologist and star of Couples Therapy. “If someone is depressed, for example, that strips away the ability to take pleasure. That’s not about your partner or the relationship. Go back inside yourself and see what’s going on with you and what you need to take care of yourself.”
