Couples not sharing religious beliefs or going to each other’s places of worship isn’t unusual, but perhaps there’s something else going on here
When I met my husband eight years ago, I knew he was churchy, but as a low-church Protestant, I thought this wouldn’t be a problem. Outside church, I am comfortable with our religious differences. I sort of believe in God, and find immense spirituality in nature, but think Christ was simply a good man, whereas my husband believes it. He respects my beliefs and has never imposed his on me.
The problem I have is with the church we attend. I often feel a fraud as I don’t share the beliefs of the rest of the congregation. I feel alienated by the emphasis on theology over Christ’s teachings, and the hymns and rituals. I resent having to sacrifice my Sundays mouthing words I do not believe.
My husband has become a pillar of the church community, but I don’t want to increase my involvement – instead, I’d like to find a community where I feel at home. I suggested we try the Quakers, a space where I could feel free to be myself, but my husband was clearly not comfortable with the setup.
We do enjoy shared interests, but have quite different jobs and, despite our best efforts, our friendship groups sadly don’t seem to mix well. Church feels like just another difference.
