I’m the first woman in my family to go to college, have control over my finances and career, have agency over my body and choose whether to have children, and how many.

Honoring my ancestors’ wildest dreams has always been a core part of my identity, and so many women of color that I know feel the same. But it’s sometimes hard to reconcile feelings of joy and purpose, with the exhaustion that can come with being the first, the few, the only, the different.

That’s why I developed my Uncompete philosophy, based on the belief that ambition, rest, and self-care do not have to be mutually exclusive. But it often requires making tough decisions that will let you build your life around the “relationships and activities that matter most to you,” to quote Dr. Pooja Lakshmin.

You can start by figuring out exactly what kind of rest your body and mind needs. One framework that can help is Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith’s “Seven Types of Rest.” Here’s how to incorporate each of them into your life.

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