Every afternoon, parents attempt the same ritual. Backpacks are dropped, shoes kicked off, and as a child heads for the kitchen, they ask: “How was school?”
The response is nearly universal, short, clipped, unsatisfying: “Fine.” “Good.” Or even just a simple shrug.
It can feel like pulling teeth to get more than a one-word answer. Parents long to know what their child experienced in those six or seven hours away. What made them laugh, what challenged them, what stung and what made them proud. But for most kids, “How was school?” feels less like an invitation and more like a closed door.
“‘How was school?’ feels routine and generic, so children quickly learn to give equally routine answers like ‘fine’ or ‘OK,’” Michael G. Wetter, a board-certified clinical psychologist and diplomate of the American Board of Professional Psychology, told HuffPost. “For many kids, especially as they grow older, the question can feel like a conversation stopper rather than an invitation.”
So what should parents do instead? Experts say it’s less about forcing a post-school debrief and more about creating ongoing opportunities for connection —through specific, open-ended questions, respectful timing, and genuine listening.
