If your job is constantly worrying you or stressing you out, you might start “fawning,” a self-defense mechanism that people unknowingly engage in at work.
Like fawns that are in constant danger from predators, people who fawn will posture submission and become overly deferential and agreeable to the needs of others in order to protect themselves from perceived threats. For many of us at work, that threat is usually a boss.
“People typically fawn because it feels like the safest option to them, especially if they are in a setting or relationship where they have less power,” said Lauren Appio, a psychologist and executive coach. “And who has more power over the quality of your life than someone who has the power to hire or fire you?”
This fawning stress response can be born from a fear of living in tense homes with unpredictable authority figures, said Meg Josephson, a psychotherapist who has made Instagram videos about fawning.
“What I’ve witnessed in my clinical work and certainly within myself as well, is that as we grow up, that fear of authority changes forms and manifests in the workplace with bosses and colleagues,” Josephson said. “So this feeling of, ‘Am I in trouble?’ or ‘Are they mad at me?’ pops up, and it’s often a similar experience to how we may have felt growing up, if we were in an environment where we had to always be ‘good’ or ‘perfect.’”
