For years, speaking in public has triggered panic attacks. So to overcome them, I road-tested some popular methods, from psychotherapy to virtual reality
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y vision is fuzzy, my heart is racing and my lungs are emptying of oxygen. I’ve just been asked to speak in a meeting at my first graduate job on a fashion magazine. My task is simple – read out the week’s social media stats – but I can’t make it through. I cut the presentation short. I sit down, murmuring an apology, my eyes stinging with tears.
This isn’t the first time this has happened. I had my first panic attack during a university class presentation. As the room started to spin and my breath grew short, I ditched most of what I’d prepared just to reach the end of my speech as fast as possible. When I returned to my seat, the lecturer carried on as though nothing had happened, but I was mortified. It had blindsided me. I’d enjoyed public speaking at school. Since when had I become such an anxious wreck?
Over the past decade, I’ve done everything I can to avoid public speaking – and it’s come at a cost. I’ve turned down the chance to give speeches at friends’ birthdays, declined to speak on the radio about articles I’ve poured myself into, and said no to panels discussing topics I care deeply about. I just can’t risk another public meltdown.
