We all know — or know of — a couple who broke up because only one of them wanted children, even if that couple is just Sofía Vergara and Joe Manganiello. Whether or not to become parents is one of the most important issues for couples to align on, and when they disagree, it can understandably be their undoing.

But life is never that straightforward, and in some cases, one person in the couple can sometimes change their mind about having kids. The other may even make the case to try and “convince” them to reconsider. This sometimes works out for them and sometimes doesn’t, but it’s certainly a fine line to tread.

“Deciding to have children isn’t something anyone should be pushed into,” Teresha Young, an international wellness and relationship coach told HuffPost. “If a couple talks things through openly and honestly, and a partner decides of their own accord that they now want children, it can be a natural, healthy and positive shift. This often comes from finding common ground as a team, sharing hopes, and imagining a future together.”

We’re using the term “convincing” with a large helping of salt here, because this isn’t about coercion or putting pressure on a partner who simply does not want children. It’s much more nuanced than that.