Breakups hit everyone differently. Some people do best diving into other aspects of their lives (like their career), while others want to do everything in their power to make their ex regret their mistake. While it’s so tempting to opt for the latter, consider an alternative approach, one that focuses more on personal growth and less on seeking revenge.

“Breakups are an emotional thing,” dating expert Emma Hathorn of Seeking.com told HuffPost. “They pick at our insecurities, make us worry that we were the problem, cause us to overthink, to comb through the arguments and the days that led up to that concrete ending.”

We all want to bounce back stronger. But instead of going after a revenge body or finding a rebound to hook up with (no judgment, been there) or any of the other breakup clichés, consider taking this opportunity to reclaim yourself. After all, you are your best company.

Here, relationship experts share a new take on what it means to really “win a breakup.”

You make your home entirely yours.