Ian Kerner is a licensed marriage and family therapist, writer and contributor on the topic of relationships for CNN. His most recent book is a guide for couples, “So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex.”
Who wants to date these days? My patients tell me the apps have turned dating into a competitive marketplace marked by quick and easy rejection. Meanwhile, social media makes it feel like everyone else is living their best romantic life.
Adding to the anxiety, more people, especially Gen Zers, are telling me that they are late bloomers when it comes to sex. They feel like they have too little sexual experience compared to what they think is typical for their age.
These patients believe they lack the chops to be a good lover. “Won’t it be obvious when I’m in bed with someone who has experience and knows what they’re doing and what to expect?” many worry. Many self-labeled late bloomers feel they’re “sexually doomed” and will never be able to catch up.
In my experience, those negative self-beliefs often become self-fulfilling prophecies unless they’re challenged head-on.
