So here's the quick read on what went wrong and how I finally fixed it. "Good enough," anyway.

Yeah... And? 🪧

It was no secret my original portfolio site looked AI-generated: that's exactly what it was. So when that was the feedback I received, my response was mostly "yeah... and?"

It's also no secret that I am not a UX person. I have no clue what most of these elements are even called, let alone what to do with them. My version of an animated page is literally "make it move".

The good news is I don't need to know all that to build a page that doesn't completely suck. And yes — "not terrible" is the bar I'm aiming for here, because anything else would be me pretending to know what I'm doing.