My dad got Alzheimer's when I was in my 30s. Here's what I wish I'd known.

Kathleen Korpela wished she were more prepared for her father's diagnosis.

Kathleen Korpela

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Kathleen Korpela, founder of Living Goldenwell. The following has been edited for length and clarity.My father was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in his early 70s, when I was in my mid-30s with a 4-year-old and a baby, getting ready to go back to work after maternity leave. It was around eight years from my father's diagnosis until his passing in October 2024.I learned how little support and resources there are for adult children stepping into supporting aging parents, and really how woefully unprepared people are for the eldercare phase. So I founded Living Goldenwell in 2025 and created the Caregiving from the Middle program to provide comprehensive support, education, and guidance to women stepping into eldercare.It was extremely challenging to navigate the transition from adult child to effectively parenting my parent. It was definitely a challenge to navigate that dual role identity without losing myself.Here's what I learned.I wish my family and I had prepared ahead of timeMy brother and I had to quickly take action in developing an eldercare plan upon my father's diagnosis because we hadn't done the early planning steps, and we hadn't had the conversations that I really advise and advocate families to do. We knew that with a dementia diagnosis, we were dealing with something very serious.I researched different living and care arrangements, and we eventually found him a placement in an adult family home. People can get wonderful, more personalized care than they might get in a larger senior care community in a care facility setting.We moved him to a couple of different adult family homes as his dementia progressed, and he needed more and more care, until ultimately we found a wonderful group home that actually specialized in supporting adults with dementia specifically.When it comes to conversations around sensitive topics like health, finances, paying for long-term care, moving out of their home, and downsizing, I recommend starting early and thinking about broaching these topics and questions with your parents as part of an ongoing dialogue. These are not one-and-done decision-making conversations. The earlier you can start talking about it with them, the more it normalizes it. They get more comfortable revealing things about maybe their wishes, their desires, and what they are unsure about.