The Irish Rovers sang about the biggest mixup that you have ever seen: he was christened David Anthony, but still in spite of that, his father called him William while his mother called him Pat.
Picture the feelings of Lake Ontario this morning. It was christened Lac Saint-Louis by Samuel de Champlain, but it’s woken up to Canada calling it William and the US calling it Pat – or rather, Lake America (without the “of,” as Trump helpfully specified in his video on Truth Social).
Do you really need two Dakotas?
Although Lac Saint-Louis is surely a better and more historically founded name than Lake America, one can sympathize with the American compulsion to rename things. After all, what would Texas be without a little American intervention? (Mexico, as it happens.) But while President Trump has the map out on his desk and a good pen in his hand, there are a few other names he might like to update.
First of all, from up north here, calling your capital Washington, DC seems like a wasted opportunity. You already have Washington State. Why don’t you add George to the capital and call it George Washington, DC? It’s much catchier, it fleshes out the historical reference and it would save an awful lot of confusion. Or better yet, you could simply call it America City. Like New York City, Kansas City, Sin City and all those other great American cities. It would fit right in.
