When they’re not complaining or bickering they’re spending all your money or sleeping all day: Holidaying with teens is not for the faint-hearted.So if you’re squeezing in a last-minute trip before school starts, here’s how to tackle the top teen holiday problems so it feels like a real break – and doesn’t leave you broken.Give siblings some space!Holidays are a perfect storm for teen spats. At home, they have school, friends, bedrooms and separate routines.On holiday you’re all together for more time than usual – with heat, tiredness and less privacy adding fuel to the tinderbox. No wonder a row over a ‘stolen’ favourite T-shirt can trigger an explosion.But don’t referee every argument. Aim to bring the temperature down by calmly separating them – one goes to the beach, the other stays by the pool – and then, if you have to, discuss it later.Lower the expectation that they must enjoy each other’s company and things may get easier. Allow solo time during the day before everyone meets for dinner.Giving them time apart often makes them more willing to spend it together afterwards. Dr Beth advises setting rules around phone use before going on holiday with teenagers Dr Beth Mosley advises parents to keep an eye on their own body hang-upsTake pity on love’s young dreamOh, the misery of hanging out with a lovelorn teen who’s constantly mooning over their phone because the object of their desire is at home.A teen romance that looks relatively new to us can feel hugely important to them. As teenagers grow, attachment increasingly extends beyond the family, so missing a boyfriend or girlfriend can genuinely affect their mood.You may want to say, ‘You’ll probably have broken up by Christmas anyway’, but that won’t help. Instead, try: ‘You really miss him. I can see that. But you’re here with us this week, so let’s work out when you can speak to him without spending the whole holiday on FaceTime.’ They get some romantic connection without the rest of the family feeling the holiday has been hijacked by the relationship.Put everyone’s body hang-ups to bedYou thought letting your daughter invite a friend on holiday would keep her happy. Then you find you’re spending hours listening to her fret about who looks better in a bikini.It’s exhausting for you but the beach can be a brutal environment for self-conscious teenagers. If your daughter says her friend looks ‘better’, don’t counter: ‘Don’t be ridiculous, you’re much prettier.’ It reinforces the idea that one girl has to ‘win’.Instead, acknowledge what’s driving it: ‘It sounds as though being next to her is making you feel self-conscious.’ Then move away from comparison and emphasise what’s really important here: Their friendship and having fun together.And watch your own body hang-ups. If you spend the holiday criticising your stomach, refusing photographs and announcing you shouldn’t have eaten pudding, your daughter absorbs that.Let them eat steak, but not lobsterAh, the joy of a family meal in a restaurant. Nobody’s argued, but you’re racking up the cost of your hollow-legged teen’s expensive tastes – steak, three sides, two mocktails and pudding.Set expectations before you sit down rather than seethe as they order lobster. Try: ‘We’re happy to take everyone out. You can have a main and a drink. If you want extras, check with us first.’If older teens have their own money, give them a choice: You will pay a set amount towards their meal and anything beyond that is on them. Treating someone doesn’t have to mean giving unlimited access to your wallet.Don’t let a lie-in lead to World War ThreeYou’ve scrimped and saved to take the family somewhere beautiful, only your teen prefers to enjoy it from underneath a duvet until lunchtime. But don’t wage war on every lie-in. Agree some lazy mornings when they can sleep – teens need that delicious experience of waking up and discovering there is nowhere they have to be – but also agree there are other days when family plans mean they need to be up.And if you’re leaving at 10am, for goodness’ sake tell them the night before rather than opening the bedroom door at 9.55am and beginning World War Three.Set rules around TikTok videosFew things wreck a peaceful poolside afternoon more than hearing the same TikTok reel 23 times in a row. It’s bad enough when it’s someone on the train, let alone your own family providing a tinny soundtrack to every meal, car journey and sunset.Headphones are one of civilisation’s great inventions, so insist they are used. But be realistic about screentime.Set rules before you go that phones should be away for meals and other family activities. Teenagers’ social worlds genuinely exist partly online, so a phone-free holiday is unrealistic. But consideration for everyone else matters, too. ‘You are allowed to enjoy TikTok; the rest of us don’t have to enjoy it with you,’ is a perfectly reasonable family boundary.Don’t sweat wardrobe choicesClothes are one of the ways teenagers experiment with identity, belonging and autonomy. If every outfit becomes a battle about their body, they will feel shamed. So don’t say: ‘You’re not going out like that.’ Instead, talk about context. What might be appropriate on a beach may not be appropriate in a restaurant. Ask them questions: ‘Where are we going? What will we be doing? Do you think that works for the place?’You may still need to step in at times, but the aim is for them to learn to make thoughtful decisions rather than complying because an adult has policed them.Dr Beth Mosley MBE is author of Happy Families: How To Protect And Support Your Child’s Mental Health (Bluebird/Pan Macmillan, 2023).As told to Jade Beer