By RACHEL BOWMAN, US SENIOR NEWS REPORTER Published: 21:51 BST, 13 August 2026 | Updated: 22:02 BST, 13 August 2026
Lindsay Clancy confessed to feeling 'resentful' towards her children in a note on her phone months before she killed them, her murder trial heard.The former nurse, 36, is accused of murdering Cora, five, Dawson, three, and eight-month-old Callan, at her home in Duxbury, Massachusetts, in January 2023.Clancy strangled her children with exercise bands and then allegedly attempted to kill herself, but her efforts failed and left her paralyzed and in a wheelchair for life.She has admitted to killing her children but pleaded not guilty to murder by reason of insanity, citing postpartum psychosis, and is also suing her former healthcare providers for medical malpractice and negligence.On Thursday, the jury heard that data extracted from the killer's iPhone found an apparent journal that detailed her internal thoughts about the youngsters.In a note from October 25, 2022, Clancy wrote: 'I sort of resent my other children because they prevent me from treating Cal like my first baby.'She added: 'I'm terrified of something happening to my kids or doing something wrong to mess up their development.Clancy put her head in her hands at the defense table while the note was read aloud by Massachusetts State Police trooper Timothy Chiappini. Lindsay Clancy wrote her darkest feelings towards her children in a note on her phone months before killing them, data revealed Clancy strangled her children - Cora, five, Dawson, three, and eight-month-old Callan - back in January 2023, then attempted to kill herself'I am sad and depressed because I am not able to parent my third child like my first,' the extract said.'I am sad that I stopped breastfeeding. I feel not as connected with Cal now. I think I sort of resent my other children because they prevent me from treating Cal like my first baby. And I know that's not fair to them.'She also appeared to write about wanting to have more children.'I want to feel love and connection with all my kids. I'm also probably having a bit of an internal conflict because my whole life I wanted to have a lot of kids,' the note continued.'I still don't want Cal to be our last, but I have a lot of figuring out to do before I have another.'Clancy also noted concerns about starting medication.'I am on the fence about starting a new medication for anxiety/depression. I just want to feel happy,' the note said.'Cal was so very planned and desired. I want to be able to give him all the love he deserves. I guess that's what it's like to be the third child, though.' Clancy wrote that she was 'terrified of something happening' to her children even though she felt 'resentful' towards them in October 2022 Clancy put her head in her hands at the defense table while the note was read aloud on Thursday Court was dismissed for the rest of the week after Massachusetts State Police lead investigator Josh McKelligan testified about the state of the Clancy houseThe note continued: 'I'm terrified of something happening to my kids or doing something wrong to mess up their development.'Other records from the phone showed that Clancy's mother texted her asking how she was feeling in the weeks leading up to the killings.On January 12, 2023, Paula Musgrove asked her daughter: 'Still feeling a little better?'Clancy replied: 'A little bit.'On January 14, Clancy texted her mother: 'Hanging in there and waiting for the day I wake up feeling like me.'Court was dismissed for the rest of the week after Massachusetts State Police lead investigator Josh McKelligan briefly took the stand.He testified about the state of the Clancy house on the day of the killings, and jurors were shown video footage taken inside the primary bedroom.The murder trial is expected to resume at 9am ET on Monday.
